Oh the Holidays!

Making new memories!

Therefore the Jews of the villages who dwelt in the unwalled towns celebrated the fourteenth day of the month of Adar with gladness and feasting, as a holiday, and for sending presents to one another. (Esther 9:19 NKJV)

Oh the holidays! Even after 2 years they are the hardest! On the advice of my counselor I took out my calendar 2 years ago and looked at when all the special events that Pat and I celebrated for the previous 40 years would happen. I began making plans on how I was going to make sure I was with friends or family during the holidays and special days. I believe that one bit of advice saved me a ton of misery!

I have taken road trips which helped a lot. I have been with other family members and very special friends. I have celebrated holidays in other people’s traditions as I look to make new traditions going forward and letting the memories of past traditions mingle with the new me. I am reminded of the children of Israel who over the centuries have held on to traditions even when they were not in Israel or under bondage. The story in Esther reminds me that I am in a new land without Pat but that it is okay to celebrate the holidays. After all, she gets to celebrate in front of the Lord forever! I really look forward to that day. But I digress…

I told you from the start I wanted to give you tips on how I have handled this journey. So, this year I decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my dear friends here in Granbury. Everything I did was a stretch, because even though I can cook, my choices this year stretched my abilities. Planning on how to smoke a turkey and to make a pecan pie that was not runny or to stiff (old joke in my family!!), and making sweet potato casserole and pie were on the menu for my contribution (as well as spicy baked new potatoes). Planning, executing and fellowshipping with my friends was wonderful.

Just like the children of Israel, I did not forget the past but I honored the present in beginning to make new memories. I also remember the things that I have always wanted to do and this year I have my own Christmas light display! I bought the equipment and programs over the past 2 years as well as lights and an incredible Nativity scene to celebrate the Birth of our Savior with my neighbors!

What these things are doing is to help me continue to establish my legacy and not let grief be my guide! I certainly miss Pat, but I know she wanted me to move on and to continue in my faith walk! She was always supportive of my creativity and I think sometimes about her smiling from heaven as she sees me standing on my own and making new memories and traditions.

LESSON LEARNED: Keep on using the calendar – even after 2 years holidays or special events can creep up on me and I get to have a day with the crashing waves of grief! Those days are now fewer and farther between, but i know they only serve to tell me to grieve greatly you must have loved greatly! Working on new traditions is drawing me closer to friends, family and most importantly, to God!

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. (Philippians 3:12, NKJV)