Why do I still count the days?
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. (Psalm 90:10, KJV)
Have you ever had one of those weeks that disappointment and discouragement just seem to pile up on you with no end in sight? Throughout my life I have had those seasons! It seems that whenever I would push myself to new limits that there was bound to be some sort of fall or crash landing to come! As a child and teenager, my mom was always there to pick me up and give me encouragement and a big hug. Things had a way of being alright after she comforted me.
For over 40 years, my dear sweet bride did the very same thing for me and I could always count on her support and comfort – even in the last days of her life here on earth. When she went to heaven 2 years, 3 months and 9 days and 2 1/2 hours ago I was all alone (yes God was there, but I did not immediately call out to him). The biggest disappointment in my life and I did not have momma’s arms or Pat’s arms to fall into.
I am closing in on 49 years, 3 months, 9 days and an hour since I asked Jesus to be Lord of my life. I remember that moment on Vesper Hill at Walden Creek Camp as if it were right now. Why do I count the days? Why do I not turn to the ultimate source of my comfort all the time? Quite honestly, I do not think the day is coming while I am on earth that I will not struggle with this.
As I have recounted in other blog posts, it did not take me days, weeks or months to cry out to God and to let him comfort me. The night when I went to bed after Pat went to heaven right before I went to sleep, I felt God’s unmistakable presence and His comfort. But why do I count the days?
I firmly believe that counting the days has given me more hope of the future glory and my home in heaven. You see, I am only 3 years and 3 months away from the 70 years he promised in Psalm 10, and only 10 years and 3 months away from the 80. I still believe God has something big to accomplish for His plan and His purpose in my life. I believe I count because I anxiously await His glory be revealed in me.
I started out this week with a big disappointment, but I praised God because I had asked His will be done in advance. Job said it best, “And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”(Job 1:21, KJV) Who am I to presume to do my will instead of God’s will? Smaller disappointments with people followed during the week and I remembered how I used to take those to Pat and how she would comfort me. And then I remembered Romans 8:18, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” God has a plan and a purpose for me and He fully expects me to fall into His arms when I am disappointed so that I might see His glory, not mine!
Lesson Learned: There is nothing wrong in counting the days! If you use the counting to point you to God and His plan and His comfort you will be greatly blessed. I am not perfect! God is and He has a plan to reveal His glory in my life in the future!
My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalm 5:3, KJV)
Widower's Walk 