The Broken Heart Healer
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. (Psalm 34:18, NKJV)
As far as I know I have never had a heart attack. After all my family had gone home and I was once again alone in the house I cried myself to sleep. A couple of hours later I woke up with incredible pain in my chest. I did not notice any pain in my jaw or my arms. I screamed out to God, “Oh please take me home!” Not once did I think about anyone else or calling 911! I do remember the pain to this very day. And in hindsight I think about how foolish and selfish I was that night. What if it had been a real heart attack? How could my children and family take a double whammy like that?
Pat and I had signed up for The Villages Health Care when we arrived in Florida. The earliest appointment for us was in September. Right after Pat died, our doctor sent me a very sweet sympathy card. I knew that I needed to keep that appointment. When I went in, they already had on the chart about Pat’s passing. Everyone in the clinic was so nice and comforting! The nurse took all my vital signs and took me to the room to see the doctor.
My doctor once again expressed her condolences to me and checked over my vitals and blood work. She told me that everything was in good shape. I told her about my episode in July and asked her to check my heart further. She did an EKG and listened carefully to my heart. Then she told me, “Yes, something is wrong with your heart!” I was shocked, then she said with a very broad smile, “It is broken!” Then she said, “You are so lucky! You loved so much that the pain is very real! God will heal your heart if you let Him!”
And she was right! In the midst of severe pain of grief, I knew God was there and that He loved me more than I had ever realized. Going to church, meeting with my small group, doing my homework at school, visiting the grave, and spending quiet time daily had all pointed up to God. I honestly felt His love like I had never experienced it before. I knew He loved me unconditionally.
LESSON LEARNED: Cry out to God! He is willing to heal your broken heart. Even in pain, especially in pain, He is there and He loves you. And men, we are the most stubborn when it comes to crying and going to the doctor. God has provided both for our good!
Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11, NKJV)
Widower's Walk 