You are not alone!
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”(Ephesians 6: 1-4, NKJV)
When both my children arrived on Saturday July 18, 2015 I was so very happy to see them! And at once I realized that I was not alone in my grief because they had both lost their mom. I remembered losing my mom and the pain it brought about but also the joy of knowing she no longer suffered but was in heaven! It also hit me that I needed to be there for Katie and Andy more than I needed them to be there for me! That reality hit me between the eyes on Tuesday morning as we met with Pastor Art Ayris and I listened to their memories and wishes.
Imagine my surprise when at the memorial service my son volunteered to get up and say something about his mom! I was so proud of him and so amazed at the love he felt for his mom – his best friend. Before everyone went home, I knew I needed to determine how to spend more time with my children, to help them through the journey. That is when a thought came to my mind that I needed to fully retire from my job.
As a result of the freedom God provided for me I have been able to schedule time and trips to be with Andy and Katie frequently. I supported Andy as he made a speech at a convention in Las Vegas and I brought Katie down to Florida to spend some quality father/daughter time.
I also realized I did not want to spend holidays and special events alone, by myself. I started looking at the calendar and figured out what special days were coming. I messed up on the very first one! Labor Day has always been a special day for Pat and me as we would watch the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon together. Little did we know early on how much MDA was going to impact our lives. So Labor Day 2015 came along and I was all by myself – grief had a really good time with me that day! As the day progressed I heard Pat in my mind saying “Get out your calendar!” So I did and I began planning every single special day and holiday and figuring out what I would do!
Thanksgiving was with the church and giving food out to homeless folks. Christmas I drove to Oklahoma and Texas to see my daughter and to see family and friends in McKinney, Plano, Granbury and Midland (my last Christmas with Pat’s brother Steve). In March 2016 I had what would have been our 40th wedding anniversary, Pat’s birthday and Andy’s birthday coming up. Andy came down to Florida and we celebrated together! 
LESSON LEARNED: Get out your calendar and mark all your “special” days. Make definite plans not to be alone. Also create new traditions that will honor your memory of your spouse but also help those you love so dearly that are still on this side of heaven!
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV)
Widower's Walk 