I was glad when they said to me,
“Let us go into the house of the Lord.” (Psalm 122:1)
Sunday, July 19, 2015 I went to church with my daughter and son only 2 days after Pat went to heaven. All I knew was I needed to be at church. I needed God. I have gone to church almost every Sunday of my 66+ years on this planet! King David was my hero as he always turned to God in his troubles and happy times! Pat and I made a commitment to put Jesus first in our marriage. In fact, the day after we got married we were in church!
All I knew that Sunday morning was I needed God – no one could help the pain I felt, so I trusted God would help me:
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4, NKJV)
I can truly say that I did feel His comfort, even in the terrible pain of grief. I fully believe that I was made ready for this day because of those days I spent at church getting to know God. In 66 years there are 3,432 Sundays. If I attended 90% that would be 3,088 Sundays spent with God worshipping Him and learning about Him through the Bible. We usually spent about 4 hours every Sunday in church and Sunday School so that is about 12,355 hours. Put another way that is about 8 years! That is a long time to get prepared.
The hardest part of facing people on Sunday morning was knowing that this question would be asked, “How are you? How do you feel?” I may not have answered that question the best way for a while, because I felt horrible! I remember telling one poor soul “I feel like crap!” In church! I do not suggest this as an appropriate answer but it was bluntly honest! But you know, those people were well-meaning and I had to accept in my heart they truly cared for me. Little did I know that God was preparing me to be a witness and example of how to handle the grief journey.
LESSON LEARNED: You cannot do the grief journey alone. You need God! As hard as it is, get back to church as soon as possible. Worship God. Pray to Him to sustain you and love you, every day!
“Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments” (Deuteronomy 7:9, NKJV)
Widower's Walk 